My mother used to host Thanksgiving every year for the whole family.
She’d buy a 20 lb or more bird.
Oh, my, cleaning out the gizzards, heart and liver. Flashback to when I was young. Definitely not my favorite part of preparing the turkey! I guess I need to explain this flashback It's probably back in the early 50’s. Things were so different back then. They were such innocent days for me.
Then mom would make her special stuffing with stale bread, milk, onion, a couple of raw eggs and lots of margarine with some seasonings. Now that stuffing, packed into the 2 crevices of that big bird was the highlight of the whole meal for me. My mom preferred the gravy she made from scratch. She poured it over everything on her plate except the cranberry sauce.
Mom would cook for days before the feast; pies and vegetables of all kinds. Some of them I never knew existed except on Thanksgiving.
We’d all sit around the table, smile at each other. As we got older and married that smile was sometimes through gritted teeth. But that was the one day each year Mom insisted we call a truce on our differences and pretend we not only loved but liked each other!
The older Mom got the bigger the families became as children married and bore her grandchildren. The differences became greater also. One year Mom announced she was getting too old to cook it all by herself any longer. So we 2 daughters and 1 daughter-in-law started helping by bringing vegetables and desserts. Mom still worked her miracle on the Turkey.
I remember one day when I was in my late teens I decided to help Mom with the clean up after everyone had left. She was getting the large chunks of meat and stuffing off the bird and preparing to put the bones into a pot of water to make soup. I offered to get all the meat and dressing off the bones for her. Well, Mom had a good laugh as she saw me turning green. That was the first time I realized this was a bird and lots of weird thoughts were racing through my head. All I know is I couldn’t finish the job I had promised to do. I was feeling very sick and about to lose that wonderful meal we had earlier in the day.
One fateful year Mom took me aside. Unfortunately for me, I was the eldest daughter; my sister was 12 years younger. Mom announced it was time for me to have the Thanksgiving meals at my house. We had a bigger home, larger kitchen and everyone could fit around the table we had because it came with several extra leafs and we all fit around it. Except the children; Dad always insisted they had to sit at another table. He often said, “Children are to be seen and not heard.”
Boy, have things changed since then. I won’t get started on that.
To my dismay the mantel fell on me and I had to host the Turkey Day festivities. Cooking a large meal for a large number of people just wasn’t an easy thing for me to do. I never could get the bird to cooperate like Mom did. It would slip and slide all over the place as I tried to stuff its cavities. The bird always had to be prepared and stuffed the night before. That was Mom’s secret recipe for her fantastic bird. She’d stuff it and put it in the oven on 200 degrees and let it slowly cook under a tent of “tin” foil. In the morning she would take the tin foil (oh, today it is called aluminum foil) off the bird, turn the oven up too brown the bird and declare it done around noon time. I never was able to get the timing right either. Her delicious moist bird was dry and overcooked when I was the “chef”.
I’ll never forget the very first time I tried to bake a turkey on my own. I was 23 and pregnant with my second child. No, I was very pregnant….. no, I was extremely pregnant with my second child. I overcooked the bird and it was very brown. I was crying when my husband took a picture of me and the bird, with our almost 2 year old first born. My very first Thanksgiving Turkey was a disaster and I have it recorded for posterity.
Yes, I was very emotional that day. I gave birth to daughter number 2 the day after Thanksgiving.
Now, jump to 2009. We have blended families with 3 children, 2 spouses, 5 grandchildren with 2 spouses and 5 great grandchildren between them. Three of the grandchildren are not married with one still in high school. All great grandchildren are under 10.
Fortunately not everyone was able to make it. My son had said something about 18 people attending. I must admit I never did count how many actually showed up.
The parents of our sons’ wife are in town visiting from Chicago area. No one had a big enough home to comfortable handle 18 people.
Our son and his wife were in charge, by default I guess. They have the largest house. They had a good idea for all of us to go to Disney Worlds Polynesian Hotel for the Hawaiian Luau. Excellent idea, great food and show under a beautiful sky with the temperatures in the 70’s.
He contacted the hotel in plenty of time to make reservations. Well, there was one little glitch. Locals can’t make reservations until the deadline has passed for people staying in the hotel to make their reservations. But he was assured there would be no problem.
Yes, problem!! The hotel guests took all the reservations. Now my son is scrambling. Now what will we do? After much hunting and thinking, it was decided we would go to the Fort Wilderness Bar-B-Q. It was also, outside with a turkey meal with all the trimmings and Disney Characters. OK, sounds good. Later we realized it was a buffet. No wait staff. They did have a country band performing. We were the 3rd seating for the day at 6 pm. We were to arrive by 5:30 and take a bus to the Wilderness location. Guess I won’t be wearing the very dressy outfit I had planned on wearing.
It was decided we would spend some time with our # 2 daughter and husband that travel and work out of the area most of the year at our # 1 daughter’s house for snacks around lunch time. But she has a very small home so no body else in the extended family was invited.
My husband and I are very prompt people. She said we could come any time after 10am. We had said we would arrive around 11 am. And we did, I believe we pulled into her driveway at 10:59.
#1 daughter greeted us with a nice smile and hug.
We learned a little later she slept in till 9:30 and wasn’t ready yet. Of course her father, my husband, had skipped breakfast so he could eat at her house.
She served some salsa and chips to keep him from chewing his elbow off while she got busy preparing the rest of the snacks.
Daughter # 2 and her husband were running late. They were provisioning for their sailing trip the next day and another in January.
We snacked and waited and waited. We turned on TV but one parade was over and I guess the other was rained out.
At around 12 we thought they had arrived and unexpectedly our son, wife and in-laws dropped in. They were out riding around. They were quite surprised to see us sitting there. Fortunately they took it very well and understood the small home etc.
They were showing the parents Deanna’s home so they could see what was available and about what they can expect to pay for a home the size of daughter #1’s home.
Back to waiting for daughter #2 after son and family leave. We finally decided to play a game to pass the time. We didn’t know daughter #2 had an emergency. They arrived around 1 and the party got going. Lots of snacks and conversation.
I was so stressed by the whole situation I suddenly started crying over nothing and then started laughing almost hysterically over nothing.
I wish I could say the difficult part of the day was behind us. But no, it wasn’t.
After eating we all sat down to see pictures on a CD of daughter # 2 life the past 10 months as they traveled. My hubby and I fell asleep, not a nice thing to do.
The past few days had been very hectic and to all of a sudden stop and be relaxed and have a full stomach was too much for us. FYI, we’re 68 and find stress is harder to handle the older we get. We live with peace and quiet in our home. When we go out in public and interact with more than 2 people we stress.
We left to go to son’s house to visit with his blended family before going to Fort Wilderness at Disney World. More relaxing, but having already had a nap we were able to stay awake. We only had a half hour to visit before leaving for our seating at Fort Wilderness.
Well, come 5 pm everyone had arrived except daughter # 2 and her son # 2. Son and brother-in-law had just poured drinks and decided to finish them before leaving.
I decide not to look at my watch any more. I was not in charge so I’d just chill.
All of a sudden it was decided we really needed to leave. Daughter # 1 was asked to lead the caravan to Fort Wilderness.
Daughter # 1’s car gets in line. Then our car and where’s daughter # 2? The young family of our 2 adorable great-grand-children takes off on their own. Oh well, guess they know how to get there on their own.
Wait and wait for Daughter # 2 and husband and son, wife and Chicago visitors.
Nothing. Wait. Daughter # 1 gets out of car. What’s taking them so long, we’re going to be late for our 6 pm seating. She gets her A type personality from me.
She goes to check and see what’s up. Daughter # 2 and husband come and pull in behind us. Where’s Sons car? Oh, here they come. We start to go and then young family with 2 kids come racing towards us.
We wait and wait and daughter # 1 decides at least some of us have to be there before 6!! So she takes off so we and daughter # 2 take off. No sign of the last 2 cars. A couple of miles later they somehow caught up to us! OK, our 5 car caravan is doing fine. (Never did find out why young family came racing back. I forgot to ask!) Finally we pull onto the short cut daughter # 1 is taking us via.
We stop at stop sign and I hear a horn honking. We all go and then I notice son has turned where he’s supposed to be going straight. He’s no longer following us. We all have cell phones and no call was made that I know of. Daughter # 1 leading the caravan has no idea we have lost our son, her brother. Oh, did I tell you he has all the tickets for us to get in? No, I didn’t think so.
We arrive and there are no parking places. We loose young couple they zig when we zag. We find 3 parking spaces all together in the corner of the last row. Well that worked out real well for us.
By now we only have 10 minutes to make it for the 6 o’clock seating and we still have to get the shuttle bus to the area.
We start walking and follow the sign to the bus pick-up area. Young family catch up to us and we all decide to go to bus. Young family calls our son. “Where are you?” Son tells her we missed the turn. OK, what do you want us to do? “Wait, I’ll turn around and be there in a minute.”
Wishful thinking. His GPS took them all kinds of places but not to Fort Wilderness. (Later we learn he left the caravan in the first place because the GPS told him too. We’ve decided we’re not going to let him live this down ever. Sister # 1 works at Disney and knows their roads like the back of her hand!) Young family calls our son again. Son is lost! But he says, stay where you are I’ll be there in a minute.
OK, who believes he will be there in a minute?? You’re right. He was wrong.
We’re all stressing. As we watch the clock click closer to 6. Young family calls again for instructions. “We’re almost there.” Now child of young family who has been crying because she sees a vending machine and wants something to eat because she’s hungry (4 years old) needs to go to the bathroom. They take off looking for a bathroom.
I could feel this urge to scream welling up inside me. I finally decide nothing I can do will change the fact we are going to be late for out seating. Getting upset isn’t going to change a thing. Oh, did I tell you I’m an A type personality? Husband and I are always on time or a little early for everything we go to. We leave extra time just in case.
After what seems like an eternity, young family returns with happy smiling 4 year old precious child.
I walk up to meet them and ask have they heard anything more. “Yes, they are here and right behind us.” I don’t see anyone behind them.
I spread the news to all the others. They are here. They arrive and now we concentrate on looking for the correct bus to take us to the Bar-B-Q. Bus after bus goes by. One for yellow area and another headed to purple area.
Ah, I see a bus arrive that says Fort Wilderness. YIPPEE! By now it’s after 6. All of a sudden I see the destination of the bus change to Disney! NO!! We’re LATE, we have to get to Fort Wilderness! I scream silently to myself.
Then in the distance I see another bus that says Fort Wilderness.
Yippee, this bus didn’t change it’s destination!
Yes, this is the bus to the Thanksgiving dinner. We all jump on. OK, let’s go! It closes the doors and pulls up a few feet. The driver opens the doors and gets off and announces its destination loudly and more people slowly, get on.
By now I’m trying very hard not to stress but I’m doing a lousy job of it! Finally she gets on the bus and we take off. When we finally arrive it is 10 minutes after 6. Son announces he is going to run ahead because the tickets are only good until 6:15!!
The rest of us walk behind at different paces. Sister # 1 is stressed even more than I am. She finds a cast member and gets help because we don’t know where to go and we’re all wandering around. Fortunately the employee takes us to the corner and points in the distance to where we are to go.
Everything should be fine right? Wrong. Husband from Chicago has to go to the bathroom and heads back to the restroom. Did you ever feel like getting in the fetal position right there on the sidewalk in front of everyone and I don’t mean just our group.
Sister # 1 and brother-in-law quickly make a plan. We are told to go on. Sister # 1 goes back to outside the restroom. Brother-in-law waits at corner to see where we end up so he can instruct them how to go.
Are we having fun yet?
Son is waving come on as we and young family walk up. Son waves towards our table off in the distance. That’s were we’ll be sitting. Young family and us head to table. I hear employees say party of 10 is slowly arriving.
Would you believe it just dawned on me as I’m writing this, we only had 10 in our group!! It just seemed like 20!
We finally arrive, then daughter # 1 and her son. Husband and I go get food. Then others go get food. Before I left to get food I notice husband of young family returning with BIG plate of food. How did he do that so quick??? My head is still back on where to sit and wondering if where everyone wants to sit.
I return with my food, lost my husband somehow, hope he can find his way back on his own.
My goodness, there is young family husband coming back to the table with another big plate of food! He sure moves fast. I guess he was really hungry.
Disney characters are all over the place and the young family’s child is all excited. Lots of pictures. Almost one year old baby is wondering what is going on. She’s munching on food and quite content.
The Country band is going full swing and people are dancing all over the place. They got here an hour ago and are all through eating.
As I watch them I wonder who’s having the most fun the parents or the children. I think it was the parents!!
Everyone seems to have a great time. One the way out I heard our 4 year old wiped off Mickey Mouse’s shoe. I guess some food got spilled on it. As a result Mickey places both his hands over his heart (characters don’t speak) and hugs her and spends several minutes letting her know she was very special.
The bus ride back daughter #2’s husband asks if I had fun today. I think I said it was a memorable day and yes, it was fun. I said it was the first time I’d ever been late for a function. He couldn’t believe it and asked why my daughter #2 didn’t get that gene from me.
I don’t know – some things in life are unable to be explained.
Mom, you would have gotten a big kick out of our Thanksgiving Day this year. I miss you and dad.
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